Welcome to The Kappa House
We were warned with all of the previews, sneak peeks and interviews that Scream Queens would be the perfect blend of both funny and scary. The first episode definitely supported this insight giving us the hint that even when someone is getting brutally stabbed to death, laughing your ass off will still not be a problem.
We were worried Scream Queens would turn out to be an American Horror Story: Sorority House Edition, but as the impressive premiere televised, the new series is so much more than the stereotypical sorority plot. After the two hour debut, we are safe to say it is the perfect mixture of comedy and horror that makes this storyline work. One thing is made clear, there is no doubt the size of the mouth on this show is HUGE.
The Scream Queens unpredictable, extreme, poetic dialogue left an instant impression on us. Lines to laugh at and plenty of scenes to squirm at, we will totally be DVRing every episode!
Here are a few quotes from Chanel, played by Emma Roberts, that brought back memories of our college days, sorority style.
“Thank you, coffee donkey…ugh, you burnt the milk! Learn to make a pumpkin spice latte, you psychopath.”
“A lot of people talk smack on sororities and how they’re a class system. Well, guess what? Life is a class system.”
“You’re about to get hazed harder than a suburban banquet hall during bat mitzvah season.”
“That girl was a total bitch. She thought she was all that because her family founded Olive Garden and she had no gag reflex.”
“Forget about the blood oath. Every time I plan something, you bitches ruin it.”
“If Dean Munsch gets her way, Kappa will be filled with fatties and ethnics. The fatties will bring their big ol’ appetites, and you know what those ethnics ‘ll bring with them? Weird spices from their home countries.”
I don’t know about you, this “plebe” pledge will be back for roll call on Tuesday.