US Politics

RIPPING Republican Candidates Open ‘Saturday Night Live’

Saturday Night Live on NBC is again electioneering for Democrats, opening the October 29th show with a fake PBS NewsHour. This could be a lucrative target for satire. But they only believe it can be mocked as news your grandma watch.

Three Republicans are running for office in November. Fake Judy Woodruff started with Kenan Thompson, who played Herschel, the senator candidate from Georgia. He said, “Hello Judas.” “My name’s Herschel Walker, Texas Ranger and I am running to be president of United Airlines.” If you’re laughing you’re a Democrat.

Thompson’s cartoon character of Walker was asked how he was three points back. He replied, “The entire world is a mystery, isn’t it?” A Thermos is one example. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. My question is: How does it decide? We will be investigating that very carefully.”

The fake PBS anchor inquired about Walker’s payment for abortions and held a gun to his wife’s head. He then asked why he was doing so well. “Look, if your goal is to be on the Jumbotron at the Falcons games, you don’t need to put on a cardigan. Now you can start making sense. You don’t need to take off your shirt and move your stomach around. That’s what I do, and people love it. Trump said that he could pay for an abortion on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes. That’s a promise from Herschel Wickapotamus.

Mikey Day was Dr. Mehmet Oz the Republican Senate candidate in Pennsylvania. Democrats routinely denigrate him as a New Jersey carpetbagger. It was quite a surprise that the SNL Democrats did the exact same. “Hello, Judy! “Hello Judy! My Pennsylvania Phillies are in World Series and I just had a wonderful Philadelphia cheese and steak. Yum!”

Day said he was a long shot but that he believed he could win. Day also stated that he believes Day is a good candidate for the election. We are very fortunate.”

Cecily Strong was Kari Lake, Arizona’s Republican candidate for governor. She said, “Great to be there, Judy, on your sweet little program full of lies.” This is a better description for Saturday Night Live days prior to an election.

Strong’s version was that Kari Lake said, “I’m normal Judy, I just live in my hometown, always in soft focus, lit like a ’90s Cinemax’soft-core,” which isn’t sexist. “And frankly, it’s been a pleasure to be able to connect with many of the amazing, scared elderly people in Arizona, the Florida West. I am also a fighter. In my entire life, I have sent back more than 2,000 salads. I don’t fear to do the same with democracy.”

Strong was asked if she would implement electoral changes if she won. She replied, “I’ll make that easy. If the people of Arizona elects me, I’ll make it easy for them to never vote again. You can’t make anything incendiary if I speak in TV voice. You should jump into Kari lake, Arizona. It’s calm and serene from the top, but it’s full of giardia underneath.

John Fetterman was only mentioned in the “Weekend Update” segment. Fake anchor Colin Jost suggested that John Fetterman should be allowed to debate, but he said that Dr. Oz is a vicious dog owner. They mocked Herschel for paying for abortions.

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