ghts from the ammoline // (Scott Johnson).
Ammo Grrll refers LYING FOR a LIVING. This is a sign that she has (mostly), moved on from stand-up comedy. She writes:
When I first started thinking about this topic, it was going to be mainly about the leftist narrative, politicians and their handmaidens from both sexes in media. It will continue to be, mostly. The more I thought about it, I realized how many of our daily interactions are built on lies. I don’t even include the article in a ladies magazine that promised me I could lose 30 pounds by Thanksgiving.
The life I grew up with in the small Minnesota town where I was raised was honest and straightforward. People still made deals with a handshake. One neighbor lady was dishonest enough to routinely omit key ingredients in recipes she gave out, so that no one’s dish would ever be as good as hers.
It was when I was young and married that I realized it was a “Big Fat Liar.” We found something within our “price range”, $100 per month or less, which was still 25% our income! It turned out to not be as “clean” and “cozy” in the advertisement. Other “c” words came to mind: Claustrophobic, “crumbling,” and “convenient for cockroaches.” It was not as efficient as it claimed, but it was on the fourth level, which makes it less likely to get burgled. Every cloud has a silver-lining. Did you guess that we got a pass on it! We were poor. We lived there.
Ad writers are, if they’re not liars or fantasists. This is true for most salespeople, with used car dealers being the most stereotypically ridiculed. I have respect that borders on admiration for a good salesman. Perhaps because I am such a easy mark. Unless I have a male “advisor”, I end up slapping the forehead like Homer Simpson and saying “Doh!”
Dudley Riggs was my old boss and impresario at the venue where I performed for 7 years. He said, “Susan,” which is a reference to the fact that you would have the same chance at a car dealership as a nekkid woman traveling on a tramp steamer with an Turkish crew. Bonus points for mentioning “car”, which is so offensive that it could make lunatics glue themselves to the ground!
Joe and I used to play football several times a week before the horrendous kneeling during the national anthem. We loved the beer ads that promoted the idea of blonde Swedish women in bikinis falling out of the sky if they drank enough of the right beer. You might also go to a friendly bar with other male models who had six-packs in their stomachs and not in their trucks to get them home.
Even professions that involve women with “hearts made of gold” are not always trustworthy. The cute stripper doesn’t like you personally. She only likes your wallet. Two naive men made the fatal mistake in marrying a stripper. (Not the same woman.) Expect to be shocked. However, neither marriage lasted more than a year. Sad.
Comics are not perfect in the Prevarication Department. It could happen that comedians exaggerate for comic effect. No, really. No, really. Leno was there, covering his face. I dang near fainted. I forgot to tell Jay that I made him laugh. He was only vaguely aware that I had been mentioned by other Minnesota comics. Later, I was able to open for him at a St. Paul concert.
I said, “God forbid that this plane goes down! It will be just as Buddy Holly!” Richie Valens, The Big Bopper, and others were also on the plane. Nobody cared. It was all about Buddy Holly. If we crash, it will all be about Jay Leno, and a woman comic nobody has ever heard of.”
Let’s move on to politicians. Joe Biden is the most lying liar of all time. He just makes up whatever comes to his mind. He doesn’t “stutter,” it’s a lie. And no, it’s not dementia. However, the unmentionable “D”, word is definitely present. For decades, he has shared tall tales about his Walter Mitty-like past.
Fearless Dispatcher of Cornpop. Top of his Law Class. IQ higher than yours, pal! Push-up King! Star Quarterback who declined an appointment at the Naval Academy due to his reluctance with Roger Staubach to compete. Still a humble Joe from Scranton, with furry legs that the kids loved to stroke at the pool. Despite his “childhood asthma”, he was a Lifeguard. Curious.
Kamala believes that lying is okay if there is a debate. She doesn’t even feel like Colbert is holding her feet to the fire. She is shocked to be asked to account for any previous statements that she made at the time. She cried with disbelief when she was reminded that she had called Biden a “racist” during primaries. Oh. Em. Gee, you guys, cackle, cackle, cackle! This is a mature woman.
Colbert was unfunny and vulgar. He never said: “So were your lies THEN when he said he was racist, or are they lying NOW when he claims he isn’t?” Or, “So, in you opinion, it’s okay to lie if there’s a debate.” Hahaha. I don’t like talk show hosts and journalists. If they want to keep their jobs, they must adhere to the established narrative. Remember the SNL character Mr. Loopner, who was “born without spine”, was a SNL character. Journalists WISH They had the fortitude of Mr. Loopner.
Moving on to another Woman Of Color. Donna Brazile, long-time Democratic leader and loyalist, is still with us. She was the one who asked Hillary questions in 2016’s debate. She maxed out every Intersectional Card that she had and said, “Who ME?” I am a BLACK WOMAN, so I’m not accusable. “I am a CHRISTIAN so I know about persecution.” And finally, she said, “Okay, I did it.” She wasn’t embarrassed. Hillary was not embarrassed.
But, what terrible consequences for this poor, oppressed Black Woman! She was hired first by Fox, then she was hired to ABC as a commentator. She was. In Mafia terms, she was now a “made woman”. She had already proven that she could and would lie to her employers. She was happy to place her thumb on the scale. “Willing and able to cheat for Democrats. A nice little resume enhancer.
Next Friday’s column is the last before the – please God – Red Tsunami elections. For obvious reasons, we will continue with the Lying Liars theme. Hear?
